Lousy Timing

Sorry, you just missed it, or my favorite,gymnastics-bars
Damn, you should have been here yesterday.
That doesn’t make me feel any better, try again
If timing in fact is everything in life, 
as the cliché pundits would have me believe,
Then I certainly can make a claim
As a spokesperson for lousy timing.
In retrospect, 
it seems as if life has seen fit
to bestow on me an overabundance of lemons
So as is the suggested solution, 
I made lemonade,
It soon became apparent though, there was one minor oversight.
The Universe has neglected to supply any sugar,
Was this an additional lesson?
Ever had lemonade without sugar?
I have, gallons and gallons in fact.
Left with lips in an almost perpetual pucker,
eyes pressed tightly into squinty slits
I’m shouting this is a joke right, but the answer is obvious.
Some, it seems, are always in the right place at the right time,
me not so much.
Such is life….
My decision to deal with my transness and
Begin transition was steeped in positive timing.
Society had grown more accepting;
marriage equality was moving swiftly forward.
Trans people were more and more visible every day.
On magazine covers, on TV, they proclaim their truth.
Ultimately this wasn’t the reason I began to transition,
Because truth is, nothing short of death would have stopped me.
Although it was slightly reassuring that “shoot on sight”
was no longer society’s top priority.
Lulled into the false assumption that social change
Moves in only one direction I stepped out of the darkness.
No sooner had I abandoned my invisibility
It became profoundly clear that promising social progress isn’t linear,
Reality strikes like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky
The spin of the Earth has suddenly reversed, 
black is white, up is down
Persecution is official policy, hate is a viral contagion,
and religion is the enemy.
Rapid advancement has been replaced by equally rapid retreat
Yet there is no going back for me,
there is no longer any back to go to.
Invisibility, which I had always clung to desperately
No longer exists as an available refuge,
my truth proclaimed for all to see.
The intervening years have strengthened my
Rising in defense of those like me,
for only together will we survive.
If martyrdom is the cost of visibility, so be it.
I have made my stand,
I will not apologize nor take a step backward.
I raise a glass of sour lemonade,
to all trans people everywhere.

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