Sadness Wrapped in Joy

Rebecca and DaytonAccording to Newton’s third law of motion,  each action has an equal and opposite reaction. In addition to its application in physics it also seems to apply to my emotional interaction with the world at large.

Take yesterday for example, I was invited to attend the wedding  for couple I’ve know for a few years now. At first glance they seemed an unlikely couple, very different backgrounds and seemingly different spiritual centers, but love doesn’t appear to have taken notice. So into love they plunged, turning their difference in to strengths and the natural outcome became a celebration of their joy at having found each other, yet when the invitation arrived, it was with mixed emotions I responded that I would attend the wedding.

I was certain that it could provide all the necessary triggers to plunge me into a classic pity party. Don’t get me wrong I am thrilled that they have managed to find the part of their souls that they were missing, but …….

Each day , each occasion like this, succeeds in reinforcing that feeling deep down in my heart that I will never be so lucky. So it was that I found myself with a smile on my face and tears on my cheeks. I watched the ceremony, listened to the toasts, watched the joyous reunion of family members long distant, heard the sorrow in the voices that spoke for those that have passed on.

In all these things I could not help but feel my aloneness, that feeling that I didn’t belong here. It left me struggling to keep an obvious frown from my face but I guess sometimes that is the best I can do, and I can say I always cry at weddings.

Congratulations to Rebecca and Dayton, it was a wonderful wedding

 

 

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