I walk the sands at the water’s edge in search of a balm
To an ocean of dark thoughts and pain suddenly gripping my heart.
Is the answer out there somewhere in the rolling waves
Their constancy soothing to my fear for the future
Standing here at the shore, the sea stretching to the horizon
Planting my feet, I imagine them immovable against the advancing tide
Staring in fascination as the dark waters swirl and rush toward me
Unimpeded by obstacles in a relentless advance up the beach,
Suddenly doubting my resolve, I take a step back and then another
While the fear of being overwhelmed roils to the surface
The waters cease their advance, and pause momentarily suspended
Yielding at last to the resistance of incline and coarseness of sand
I recognize in the motion and mystery of this dark ocean,
A kinship with the thoughts and movements of my mind,
Never still, moving to its own rhythm, at times steady and thoughtful
At times lashing out in anger and confusion, its direction erratic
The next waves builds, its power indiscernible at this distance
Will this be the one that overcomes all of my resistance?
Its true strength unapparent until its potential is unleashed
My pride in my ability to stand against the tide seems foolish.
I breathe a momentary sigh of relief at the realization that I am out of its reach.
Yet today’s victory over my dark thoughts provides only temporary refuge
Each successive wave another opportunity to be overwhelmed.
Victory today only affords an opportunity to fight this battle again tomorrow.
An ocean of waves stretches as far as my eyes can see and beyond
The next wave draws closer and grows more formidable with each moment
I brace for the power of the onrushing water with acceptance that it’s too late to run,
If I have underestimated its strength, survival becomes the only hope.
Swirling depression wraps about me, rising higher and higher.
When it seems that all is lost, it recedes from whence it came
Yet in its rush to return it carries with it bits of sand, bits of me
One grain at a time my strength begins to vanish,
In its place a hollow where my foundation once stood
Each fleeing wave, shouts that permanence is illusionary
Luckily so far, I have danced beyond the reach of the darkest waters
It is time to turn my back to the ocean and walk inland