I was feeling a bit disconnected last evening, I was falling again into the pit of have I made a mistake? Will I run out of money? Who can I turn to get some solace? These are the same issues I have struggled with my entire life, I overthink everything to start with, and then when I have finally decided the direction I want to go and taken the first steps, here it comes. The second guessing, the doubt, the uncertainty. Well that was the case last evening.
In an attempt to find the antidote, I had to get out of the house, sitting alone in front of a computer screen simply reinforces the aloneness and isolation, so off I went.
Some of you are aware that Rachel has come into her own and found her long sought after voice, in other words I will speak to anyone and everyone and it usually pays huge dividends. I have been blessed by the Universe to have met some of the most amazing people. I have shared my stories and listened to theirs, learned lessons, shared opinions, been given advice and encouragement.
Last night I was fortunate to meet Laura, a smart ass from Columbus OH and her boyfriend Eric. I say smart ass in the most loving way, I recognized in her a bit of myself and egged her on from the moment I heard, “can we sit here.” She took the bait and we were off and running.
We sat at the bar an spoke for a couple of hours, in truth I did a lot more of the talking because as I have said before, I had kept silent for so long, I am now making up for all those years and I have a lot to say.
It wasn’t long into the conversation before being trans came up, what a shock, She asked what I thought about Caitlyn Jenner and I gave her my opinion the conversation just took off from there. I will say that I don’t believe that normally Laura is the slightest bit shy, add a couple of glasses of red wine and she was downright unstoppable. I have to say that I had the advantage as I had been drinking mineral water all evening and as such my smart assedness was in full flower. I will also add that you cannot possibly embarrass me which has proven to serve me well in these types of social situations.
Over the next two hours or more she got my entire story and when it appeared that I was slowing down she bought me a glass of wine to give me another push. She wanted to know about my love life and when I confessed to not having a partner she began looking all around the bar for a suitable candidate. Then she asked if I wanted it to be a man or perhaps a woman. That took at least another half hour.
I told her of the pain of losing friends and family, finding my voice and standing at an open mic. That prompted a request for poetry which I was more than happy to accommodate. She must have liked it, as I made her cry, YES Success!
It ended with hugs all around, contact information and encouragement to write a book.
I don’t know if she’ll see this on my blog but I will say I enjoyed my evening more than I could have ever imagined considering where it began.
I have been blessed again and I’m so grateful. Just have to remember this when the clouds roll in again.