They Say That I’m Too Old

They say that I’m too old, why don’t you act your age?
What a strange thing to say, why would they think that?
I don’t feel too old, I can’t ever remember being too old before
Too out of shape perhaps, too overweight definitely
But too old? How much too old?

Is there a handbook I should be reading?
Am I too old for everything? Or only certain things
Who exactly gets to decide what you’re too old for?
I do believe I would like to talk to the folks in charge of that.
I say I can’t be too old, I was born only 4 years ago,
I have a whole life yet to live and for the first time I am who I was supposed to be.

I want to tell them I feel like I’m seventeen again
I want to show them my calf muscles from walking 25 miles a week.
I’ll show them the picture of me looking like Truman Capote, 100 pounds ago.
I want to show them the app, counting the days since I quit smoking

Each day has been a tremendous victory
I want them to come see me stand, and speak my truth to a room filled with people
I want to ask, which of these things shows I’m too old
Could it be the volunteer work that I do that confuses them?
Could it be my head full of long grey hair?

Admittedly growing old has been a confusing experience
I thought when I got to be this age I would feel old and accepting of the inevitable
Ready to sit in the sunshine with a blanket on my lap
Content to reminisce of things long gone, accepting that new experiences are only for the young.

The cruelest joke is that I don’t feel any different at all
I could be 33 instead of 63
It seems that I am stuck between miniskirts and support hose
All the while my mind screaming, be age appropriate, be age appropriate

That I should fall in love has brought this into sharp focus
Falling in love hasn’t changed, the feelings are the same
If anything they are sweeter than they ever were,
Unconcerned with appearances, it isn’t a social statement anymore
Honesty and openness is now a natural state of being
But she is too young, they say, but is she really?
Or I am too old they tell me, does it really matter?
She hasn’t said that but I have told it to myself
Did I learn this somewhere? Is it genetic or was I taught?
I have been told age is just a numbe, who should I believe?

Thinking back to a time when I was young,
What would I have thought, of someone my age acting as I am
Would I have been embarrassed for them?
Or smiled at their obvious refusal to accept the passage of time
Are things different now or did they feel as I do,
I have one life and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste a minute of it.

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