OK, so I wanted to do a video to share with you, to pass along a personal message of hope to all the younger trans persons out there, no matter what your position on the gender spectrum, Think of this as the wisdom of the ages, or the ramblings of an old wrinkled trans woman.
Please don’t feel sorry for me, I am so happy that I have to see a therapist to deal with the guilt. At your age you would look at me and see someone whose life is almost over, what I need you to understand is that by being authentic, by living my life as the person that I really am, my life has been enriched, I have lived days’ worth of happiness in each moment, I have experienced lifetimes of joy packed into each day. I feel young again since the weight of the lies and secrets have been lifted. The day I came out of hiding was the best day of my life.
So here is what I would like to share with you, this is what I want to pass along.
The way you feel is not sick or perverted, and you are not crazy. You were born this way and they still don’t know why. No amount of drugs, therapy, or prayer will change it, although I’m sure that you’ll try all of them. Thinking that as you get older the desire will go away, you will continue to fight the feelings but in the end they will only grow stronger.
I would tell you to be yourself, to stand up and not be afraid, Fear is paralyzing, fear is absolutely exhausting. The most important thing to know is that the fear that rules your life is a fake, it’s phony. It feels real enough but what you’re afraid of is something that you’ve created in your own mind. From my vantage point so many decades later, I can see it, clear as day.
The momentary discomfort or embarrassment won’t kill you and as I’ve discovered now… If you stand up, if you’re true to yourself, if your authentic, your life will can bring you joy
You have courage, more than you know. I know it’s hard to believe but you do and as you show it you’ll earn respect from the people around you and your confidence in yourself will grow
I will also tell you that you only get one life. If you don’t live it, if you spend it hiding, or cowering in fear, if you don’t participate, you do not get to do it again. Your life is the only one you get, there’s no going back, and regret doesn’t change anything, so look to the future… be strong, or try and be strong. Put a look of determination on your face and go out into the world.
It’s amazing the transformation that will make. Confidence in yourself is the first thing people will see and is just as noticeable as a smile on your face.
The day that I stopped hiding was the most wonderful day of my life, but it took me 60 years to get there and all that time, Rachel, was kept hiding and locked away. Now that Rachel is making her way in the world, she wants to share with you how wonderful life can be.
It hurts to know how much time you can be wasted before you get to the point where you can be the person that you truly are.
I wish I could reach out and save you from all the uncertainty, all the mistakes that you’re going to make. If I could give you an ounce of confidence how differently your life might turn out, but it is your life and you must live it.
Living it authentically is the best way to do it
That is my advice and my sincerest wish for you.